Saturday, February 18, 2006

Informed Consent for Death

INFORMED CONSENT PROCEDURE FOR DEATH

I know this is tiresome for both of us
But we do have this procedure.
It's a legal requirement,
And we cannot proceed
Without a signature.
As part of the protocol,
There are certain side effects
Which I must necessarily draw your attention to.
Your eyeglance, earglance and postural profile
Will not be human-normal.
Your social life will cease.
Additionally, psychologically,
Regret is not unheard of.
Telepathy?
I don't believe we promised that.
Are you quite sure you're in the right room?
Let's check.
Room 40-K?
That's us.
But, sorry to be a niggle worm,
Just to be sure,
Just to be on the safe side,
Could I see your Surcease Number, please?
Thank you.
Any questions?
Yes, the donuts do have jam in them, as promised.
When?
Why, as soon as we're done.
How many?
As many as you want.
You're not rationed.
Just one more thing, before we do get done:
You do understand, of course,
That we do not offer refunds.
Good.
Any final questions?
Pardon?
Can you say that again?
Yes, that's true.
You have been correctly informed.
There will be no, absolutely no, requirement to pay taxes.
Yes, I agree:
It's a big happy.
Sign here, please.

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