Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Camelot Couple

Camelot Couple

KFK is dead and Jackie O is no more, but, looking at the royal couple, rapturously in love and soon to be married, we know that Camelot will come again, and in our lifetime.

He is the romantic swashbuckling hero Eric Prince, CEO of the mercenary outfit Velociraptor Global (formerly Blackwater.) Right now his victorious forces, having crushed islamic radicals in the city of Fatwa-Purdah, are pursuing fugitives into the high mountains of Kashmir, aided by the battle lasers in the company's orbital forts.
She is Paris Hilton, the svelte and glamorous presidential contender, the ideal candidate.
She is a genuine hero, the bold and audacious Marine Corps commander who led United States forces to victory in the battle of Baghdad. She is a genuine saint, having devoted thirty year of her life to selflessly working with lepers in the horror lands of Rwanda. She is the glamorous film star, costarring with Eric in the DVD ANATOMICAL VARIATIONS, sales of which are soaring. (Though it must be admitted that some people's comfort levels have been exceeded by the central Abu Ghraib segment, with its human sex pyramids amd its raucous packs of Extremely Large and Erectile Dogs.
Of the couple, she is the heavyweight, the President for Life of Crusade. It was her idea, her brilliant concept: one last Crusade by the united strength of the West.
Last time round, some Muslim men were neglectfully left unkilled, some Muslim women inexplicably left unraped, some shops not looted, some graves undesecrated, some mosques not razed to the ground.
This time round, though, No More Mister Nice Guy!
Actual war has not yet been joined, but the Crusade concentration camps are up and running on North Korean soil, currently perpetrating the Robert Mugabe Memorial Genocide.
Meantime, Crusade's dearh squads are stepping up their increasigly efficient slaughter of illegal immigrants.

The wedding is now just one month off, and the Government of the Republic of India has graciously granted permission for the Blessed Pair to hold their nuptials at the Taj Mahal, in Agra. While Paris is in town, Agra's drink drive regulations will conveniently be suspended.
The Pope has respectfully declined an invitation, but King Charles and Queen Camilla will be on hand. As will distinguished Supreme Court judge Clarance Thomas, whose recent withdrawal from the presidential race has made Paris's victory almost certain.

Here in Baghdad, the temperature is a balmy 50 degrees Centigrade, significantly less than Fahrenheit 451. The Baghdad Hilton, a blimp-based luxury hotel, serenely floats five hundred meters overhead.
"A dream come true," says Eric.
"My darling," says Paris, and they kiss.
Paris Hilton, the all-round Renaissance girl: fashion model, author, product endorser and a brand in her own right. And, very soon, our President.


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