Shock, pain and physical damage will prove instrudtice, all going well.
Night,cold, dark, blind, can't find home..
Yes, I can get around it ...
Smashed down, pain, broken, can't vreathe, MUST GET UP!
Uh-oh, large predator is emerging from lair ...
This was a neighbor, come to see why a truly catastrophic sound hzd emanaaated from the vicinity of his parked car.
He stated that he knew I was a local, so I asked him if he knew where "jivun no mon" - "my gate, inelegant but communicative.a"
He did, and led me there. As he was clumsily dragging me in the direction of the gate, I felt nauseous and wanted to vomit. I also tasted, at the back of my throat, something I took to be blood. It was then that I realized I was in a certain degree of shock.
In the dark, my neighbor found the gate that I had been unable to find, saw there waa an intercom button and pressed it repeatedly, rousing my wife from her slumbers. (It was then about 02:10).
My wife came down, apologized, took me upstairs, inventoried my injuries, made me a cup of tea then ran me a hot bath.
bath. I crashed out on the couch and slept until 0900, waking stiff, sore and chastened but functional.
All the foregoing is the setup for a joke. The punchline will be along next. You ARE expected to laugh. I put a LOT of work into this. I dd DO expect a payoff.
Before setting forth, blind and brain-damaged, to do supermarket shopping, I had been indulging in riddiculous fantasies of joining (wait for it...) the Foreign Legion. I'd gotten as far as finding a site which gives you the low down on Legion lifee:
You're young? sharp-eyed? haven't had brain cancer yet? Go for it!
Do note that the Mobile Light Infantfy is no longer recfuiting. Sorry, that game is over. We lost. The arachnoids won. Sic transit gloria mundi.
However, the Tung Leung brick kiln still has vacancids for perimeter guafds. Stone cold killers only, please.